70 Inspiring Mark Twain Quotes on Life, Wit, and Success

Mark Twain Quotes

Samuel Clemens — better known to the world as Mark Twain — was the kind of writer who could make you laugh out loud and think deeply in the same sentence. He wrote about boys floating down rivers, kings and paupers, and the beautiful absurdity of being human, all while quietly dismantling the social norms of his time with nothing but a pen and devastating wit.

More than a century later, his words still hit like they were written yesterday. That’s the mark of a true genius — the ability to say something so true, so perfectly, that it outlives you by generations. Here are 60 of his most memorable quotes.

Mark Twain on Life and Human Nature

  1. “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
  1. “Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
  1. “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
  1. “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”
  1. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
  1. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
  1. “Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”
  1. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”
  1. “A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”
  1. “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
  1. “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
  1. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.”
  1. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Mark Twain on Truth, Lies, and Honesty

  1. “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
  1. “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
  1. “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
  1. “When in doubt, tell the truth.”
  1. “The truth is more valuable than most people realize, since it’s rarely used.”
  1. “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”
  1. “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.”
  1. “A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”
  1. “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”
  1. “Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.”

Mark Twain on Success and Work

  1. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”
  1. “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
  1. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
  1. “Necessity is the mother of taking chances.”
  1. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
  1. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
  1. “Action speaks louder than words, but not nearly as often.”
  1. “Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.”
  1. “Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”
  1. “Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”
  1. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

Mark Twain on People and Society

  1. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”
  1. “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
  1. “Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
  1. “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”
  1. “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
  1. “Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”
  1. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
  1. “The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
  1. “Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.”
  1. “Every man is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”
  1. “It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

Mark Twain at His Wittiest

  1. “I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
  1. “I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.”
  1. “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”
  1. “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
  1. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
  1. “When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my old faculties are wearing away, and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that happened.”
  1. “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
  1. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
  1. “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
  1. “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
  1. “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
  1. “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
  1. “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
  1. “Buy land — they’re not making it anymore.”
  1. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.”

Mark Twain had a way of making you think by making you laugh. He didn’t preach — he observed, he quipped, and he let the truth land softly between the punchlines. His words remind us that wisdom doesn’t have to be solemn, and humor doesn’t have to be shallow. The best insights often come wrapped in a smile.

What’s your favorite Mark Twain quote? Is there a line that changed the way you think? Share it — Twain would have appreciated a good conversation.